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Stories of Funnyguy and MagicMan is a story written by Peter Coalvane! These events have not actually taken place, or are insignificant to the progression of Minecraft.


2012-04-07 00.14.59

The New Order

There once was a land called Lostshard. It was considered by most to be a very harsh place to live in with all of the murderers and cheats running around. At the second age of the server came two different towns Baghdad and Booty Bay. Baghdad was a place guarded by the best so that people could walk around and trade their items at the bank and not give any worry to what might be behind them. Booty Bay was the opposite, here you would find the worst of the cheats murderers. Now at the dawn of the second age came to wandering explorers Funnyguy, and Magicman. These young fellows were looking for a new place to set up a new home and start over, hopefully making new friends along the way. But that was not all they would be making on this very long journey, enemies were scattered about.

Chapter 1 Tsarce

Magic and Funny had been in the town of Baghdad for two days now and Magic was ready to explore, that morninghe had gone through town and bought a new set of chainmail from the vendors and a stone sword. His ming was racing with all the different places he and Funny could build their new house. "Maybe it would have a lot of farms so they would never grow hungry." He said to himself, he'd have to bring the idea up to Funny later but first he had to search for a place, he told his friend he was heading out and stepped out of the gate, a place where there were no guards to save you if you needed help.

He wasn't four blocks out of the gate when he noticed a man in full diamond armour perched on top of the mountain. Looking down on the city and eventually casting a glance at him.

"Hello there traveller!" shouted Magic in attempt to talk to the man "What might be your name?"

The man stood up, looking rather taller than other natives to Lostshard. "My name is Tsarce, friend." his eyes were the color of night and Magic had a hard time reading his face. Not once did it occur to him that he could mean harm, he was new to the land so why would anyone to harm him anyways?

"Mind if I talk to you about land for a moment Mr. Tsarce?" Magic began climbing the mountain to sit on top with the armored man. "I was thinking of going that way, what are your thoughts on that? Any clear land?".

Tsarce turned his head to the direction Magic had pointed and shook his head, "You don't want to settle in those lands, that is where the Council of the Three Hammers resides, terrible murderers, you'd never make it." Magic's face fell into a frown and Tsarce looked back at him "Of course there are murderers every where though, in fact, you are talking to one now." Tsarce drew his detailed wand and pointed it at Magic "You should probably run kid, I will give you a slight chance." He muttered a couple of inaudible words and the ground in front of Magic burst into a field of fire threatening to burn his legs. Without thinking further he began to run back to the city, once inside he could call guards to help, he just had to get there.

Tsarce was not even running to catch up with him though, everytime Magic looked back he would disappear and reappear back closer to him, Magic came up to the gate and jumped through it yelling for the guards but he never hit the ground. In fact he doesn't even remember what happened, just tales from people who saw it. He woke up the next morning with Funnyguy holding a bowl of mushroom soup over him, 

"It's pretty amazing thay you survived that guy they say Magic, he's one of the worst muderers in the land." Funny said handing the bowl to Magic who had set up, ready to get out of bed. "Right when you jumped through that gate he engulfed you in a ball of ice, it was quite extraordinary, except the part where you could of died of course..." 

Magic closed his eyes and retraced the events that had apparently led up to him getting stuck in a ball of ice. He needed to know how to fight back, and he was going to find someone to teach him.

Chapter 2 Macedonia

Funny peered through the gate, "Nobody in sight." He whispered back at Magic, they were using the night to their advantage attempting to find a place to put their home. Magic nodded back to Funny who then left the safety of Baghdad. They planned on heading near the Council of Three Hammers building but hopefully nobody would notice them. Funny looked over a small mountain and realized there was a forest, pretty niced sized one to. Magic sat beside him on the slope and looked at it.

"We could set up a nice little house right there." he said getting prepared to walk down to it. Funny nodded and follow him down to the forest. They had to work fast before day so they cleared out a small patch of trees and set up a cobble building, it was a pretty nice little house for two beginners.

"Now to put a protective spell on it." said Magic pulling out a book filled with all different sorts of spells. He stood in the center and chanted the spell, a circle then glowed around the house, the spell had worked and now it needed a name. They both agreed on naming it Macedonia. They finally had a new house and they were ready to start making it even better, but their joy soon died out and turned into worry, for Tsarce was a master at getting inside plots.

Chapter 3 Tofflenheim and the Three Hammers 

Magic laid his pickaxe down after a long day and sat down in his mine that was connected to his house through an iron door. Funny was inside practicing some magic and Magic thought he might join him later, but first he needed to eat. He sat down on a pile of dirt and pulled out some bread their farm upstairs had produced. 

As he began munching he could of sworn he heard something, but shook his head. It was most likely a loose rock or a Funny pratcicing spells. But then he heard the sound again, this time much closer. The sound was like feet landing on the ground, but no foot steps were present. Then before he could stand up to inspect it Tsarce appeared in front of him making Magic drop his bread and fall on the ground.

"Hello my little friend." Said Tsarce stuffing his wand back in his belt. "No guards to run to here." Magic tried to stand up but received a kick in the stomach forcing him back down. Tsarce then began to beat him, over and over again, Magic felt as if death would have been welcome here but just as that thought came a field of cobwebs surrounded Tsarce at his making it hard for him to move the slightest bit. 

"Hurry run!" said Funny who had opened the door to the house." Magic stood up and got inside as fast as he could. Inside Funny threw him a wand. "Lets get to Baghdad." Magic nodded and ran through the front door using his newly learned teleport spell to get ahead. Funny followed close by but Tsarce was to quick.Thinking fast Magic looked at the Three Hammer building, they always had traps open for those brave enough to even get close to them. Magic would rather die at the hands of the Council than this Tsarce scum.

"Funny the traps!" he shouted teleporting to the front door of the intimidating building. beside it was a portal that would lure the curious and trap them in a cobble wall. He racked up his courage and jumped through the portal and soon Funny followed him in the room, bleeding from a large gash in his arm.

"He got me Magic, that Tsarce piece of trash murderer got my arm pretty good." Magic looked at the cut, it was deep. He didn't know any spells for health and even if he did he didn't have the reagents, neither did he have wool to do a proper bandage. He tore a strip of his shirt off and tied the bandange. 

"We have to wait here, there is no way getting out, they have lapiz here to stop spells."

A couple of minutes passed and a man walked through a door on the other side of the cage Magic and Funny were stuck in. He looked surprised to see us there waiting for him, most just committed suicide to escape their maybe even worse fate.

"Please sir! My friend is hurt, we will do anything just free us please sir!" The man looked at Funny's wound and opened the door, he had nothing to worry about, he was a hammer and could fight off anyone that came to him. He looked the two up and down, he knew they were knew just by the way they talked, begging to a murderer never worked, almost never that is. Something about the way they asked for help made the man want to help them. 

"Bring him here." he said pulling out his wand. The wound had now bled through Magic's shirt and was covering the floor. "Magikus healius" he muttered and the wound closed up leaving a slight scar. 

"Tha- Thank you sir!" said Funny rubbing the scar

"Call me Tofflenheim or Toffles, you said you would help me, I need miners, follow me." He said turning back and walking through a portal. Funny and Magic looked at each other and followed. Even if it was a trap, at least they were away from Tsarce.

Chapter 4 Learning to Fight Back

Funny and Magic had been mining for Tsarce for about a year now. They were inducted into the clan and were now very rich along with Toffles. Everyday they would wake up and walk through their portals leading to mining camps so they could continue their shafts and quarries. This was all very good work for them but Magic wanted more he wished to fight like Tofflenheim and one day kill Tsarce and anyone else who dared to fight him. He had addressed the idea to Funny but he was set with mining, he liked the idea but didn't feel it was the life for him. 

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